Being Prepared for the At-Home Dinner Date… and Not Just Mentally
Are you in the dating pool? While I don’t envy you, I do remember the routine.
Closet emptied onto the bed. Utter dismay that no outfit is good enough. Re-hanging everything after settling for ‘that dress’ or ‘that shirt.’ Every flat surface scrubbed. Pets quarantined. Phantom smells investigated. Super impressive toiletries out on display. Makeup applied, then worried off, then reapplied, or for guys, shave, then can’t remember if you did, so shave again. Treads paced into the carpet. Incoming text – they’re on the way. Apply antibiotic cream to bitten off nails. Practice smile in hall mirror. Footsteps outside? Doorbell. Show time.
But does your meal pass muster? Are you avoiding cooking for them because you’re sure the Thai place around the corner would be less awkward for them and better prepared for you? Did you think to prepare something, and then decide it would be scary to make something only to have them not like what you picked?
Sigh. Let’s not make this harder than it has to be. You can do this. And you have a chef to help you out.
First, plan to cook for one of your first 4 dates. While it doesn’t have to be the first date, it should be within the first month or so. Why? Because it’s a huge turn-on. Like, HUGE. Being able to navigate the kitchen is a big plus to a lot of people, either because they’re not 100% confident, or because they’re already thinking about taking advantage of your kindness on a routine basis. But you know what? It’s a talent that pays dividends. You don’t have to be a restaurant chef to make a meal, especially if you’re prepared, and taking over the task within the first few weeks shows that you’re a go-getter and that you’re okay rolling up the sleeves.
Second, as you’d do for any meal, please plan ahead. Please. And by “ahead,” I don’t mean the morning of. And by “plan,” I don’t mean “think about it but don’t write it down.” The more organized you are, the more organized you look. While I do offer meal preparation assistance, there’s only so much I can do at 2 pm when the menu’s not even ironed out yet. It doesn’t have to be a 1” margin, double-spaced, 14-page outline with which flatware you’re using and which side of the table you’ll be on, but it should be at least a menu, list of ingredients for purchasing and a timetable of when you’re getting it all done. Remember Chef Jill’s #1 mantra? Take help where you can get it from the store.
Third, think about a menu you’d feel comfortable ordering from when you’re planning and selecting ingredients. This is especially true if your S.O. has a dietary restriction. If you don’t know how to cook it, how to pronounce it, or where it’s from, maybe shy away from it for your first date-night meal venture. I’m around if you need me, but now might not be the best time to try to impress them by memorizing a complex script of etymology and anthropology. You know what meals always work, no matter how picky a person is? Basic pasta, build your own pizza and rice-based dishes like risotto and stir-fry meals. Even a persnickety person will enjoy a basic meal, and if you’re really not sure if your menu will work for them, consider playing it safe and avoid using a lot of animal products and gluten-heavy items. Or have your date on a Tuesday and put out an all-encompassing make-it-yours taco station. That’s a proven winner.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, have a backup plan prepared. Admit the fault if your plan doesn’t work out as well as you’d hoped, laugh it off with them and move on to plan B. I have burned meals, I have purchased a food item of less-than-desirable quality and discovered it a little too late, and I’ve had to deal with my date being so unavoidably late that the meal taste and texture suffered. It happens. Plan to have the worst day ever, and plan for them to as well, and your meal will be even better when the day isn’t nearly so bad.
As always, I’m around if you need me. Take a deep breath, channel your favorite chef, and do what you can. You can do this.
How did date night go?
Tell us in the comments below!